Spiritual Codependency

It has been quite awhile since I have posted and since I am sure everyone desperately missed my insights, I apologize for not being more diligent.  The truth is, I frequently struggle with what to write about and rather than just randomly blab, I tend to choose not posting.  However, today I was reading an article in a magazine that I get and I came across the question "Are you fostering spiritual codependency?" and I thought it would be a good topic for a post.

As a pastor, my desire is to help people realize their need for Jesus and see them obediently follow Him with their lives.  Not as a religious pursuit to earn any kind of reward, but because they are in love with Him and their heart is transformed so that they desire what He desires.  But is that what the Christian church looks like today?  Check out this quote from Mark Batterson's book "Wild Goose Chase"

I'm afraid we've turned church into a spectator sport.  Too many of us are content with letting a spiritual leader seek God for us.  Like the Israelites, we want Moses to climb the mountain for us.  After all, it is much easier to let someone else pray for us or study for us.  So the church unintentionally fosters a subtle form of spiritual codependency.

Where does my job as a pastor end and the responsibility of the individual follower begin?  Am I helping people or am I actually hurting people?  These are tough questions to answer definitively but I think they are good questions to ask.   Since most of you are not pastors, can I suggest a different question?  Are you spiritually codependent on your pastor (or some other person)?  Let me assure that other than being paid to minister, I am not really any different than you.  I am a guy trying to figure out what it looks like to follow Jesus and trying to apply the things I think I have figured out.  My desire is to help you do the same but not do it for you.  Let's step out together in being spiritually dependent on Jesus!

Perspective

The way you see things can drastically alter your opinions or feelings about things.  Take WWE wrestling for instance.  If you watch on TV, all of the hitting, punching, kicking, etc. looks to be legitimate.  However, if you were to see the same "wrestling" match in person from a different angle, you would probably see that much of what you think is happening on TV isn't really happening.  From one angle WWE wrestling may seem violent, rough and physical.  But, from another angle it just appears staged and fake.  I am not sure why I chose WWE wrestling as an example as there are several other perfectly adequate examples to illustrate my point, but I think you get the idea.

Life is the same way.  Our state of mind, mood and happiness are impacted by our perspective.  If we focus on what we don't have or what is currently bad or challenging in our lives, we will likely have a negative or poor state of mind.  However, if we focus on what we do have and what is going well in our lives, our mood will likely be much better.

As I was reading in Romans 8 today, I was encouraged by the shift in perspective that Paul provided.  Romans 8:18 says, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."  We do experience hard things in life but when we compare those "sufferings" to the glory that we will experience for eternity with Jesus (if we have given our lives to Him) their is a huge difference in our favor.  There really is no comparison.

I have no intention of trying to minimize the hardships of life, they exist and they are real.  What I hope I am able to do, though, is show that with a shift in our perspective, we can be reminded of the hope and glory that awaits us.

Guest Post from our Children's Director

One of the great things about being a pastor is the amazing people that I get to work alongside of. I have met many great people over the years working in various jobs, but being able to work with fellow believers where I am encouraged, challenged and loved is a tremendous blessing. One of the amazing people that I work with is our Children's Director, Cherie. Cherie is an amazing, Godly women, with tons of wisdom and a heart first for Jesus and also for the kids of Crosswater, including my own kids. The following is something she wrote about her recent trip to Haiti for a Vacation Bible School;

“Nan Wo is an amazing area mostly comprised of farmland with crops varying from onions and tomatoes to rice and corn. The community is tightly knit with homes sitting close together along the main road leading through the valley. Homes are made mostly of stone and sticks with dirt floors. These houses are not much bigger than many people's family rooms here in the U.S. The church/school that Hope in Haiti has built and where we stayed is like a beacon to many in this area. It is, by far, the nicest building in the valley. The only community well is located here and many use it on a daily basis. I could see the effect that our (Crosswater Church's) and many other's support has had on this community. I see God working in an amazing way through Pastor Louinet and his staff. Pastor has a heart for people. I think that's what really stuck with me....people, not things, are what matter in this life. Use things to bless people but INVEST in people to make a true difference. I know this to be true and it was so good to see that being lived out by Pastor Louinet, his family and those he is discipling. Pastor has his work cut out for him as there are many people in the area that are still in bondage to voodoo. We got to see that first-hand after church the Sunday before Easter. There was a huge voodoo "ra-ra" group that came through and stopped at people's houses. If people desired, they could pay the ra-ra group to perform and ask Satan to bless their homes. The ra-ra group was also celebrating the death of Christ on the cross....His death, not His resurrection. The people may proclaim to believe in Christ but their faith is marred by the thought that they need to have Satan's protection too. They want to have all their bases covered, so to speak. Pastor is trying hard to help people see that true freedom is through Christ alone. The Vacation Bible School that we sponsored and put on for the school children is one way we hope to help break that cycle of bondage and to help children see their worth in Christ and the freedom they have in Him. Our theme was "Be a Light for Jesus" and that's what we hope this future generation is for the community of Nan Wo.”

Who are you investing in? Are things getting in the way of investing in people? I encourage you to first Love God with all that you have and are, next love your neighbor as yourself. Thank you Cherie for being a tremendous example of both!

Glory Hound

I have been accused of having a disproportionately sized ego which must be true because any ego at all is really more than we should have. It is also true because there are certainly times in my life where I have been pretty enamored with myself. But, I think for the most part, I do a pretty good job of not getting too excited about me (of course saying that kind of shows a bit of an ego, doesn't it?). Even so, I got a pretty good reality check recently as I was reading in the book of Joshua.

Joshua was pretty successful by our standards (any standards really). He was the leader of God's people after Moses died. He showed incredible courage, after scouting out the promised land, encouraging God's people to go and take the land that had been promised to them. He also led several military-like victories. This was a powerful and successful man.

Unlike most present day leaders in a similar situation, Joshua didn't take the credit himself. In his farewell (he was about to die) speech to his people, he gave all of the credit, all of the glory to God. God has gifted each of us and those gifts can enable us to great things. When we do, who gets the glory? The answer should be God. I needed the reminder as I read Joshua 23 that it is God who has allowed me to have any success that I have had. Sure, I may work hard at something and put in lots of effort. But who gave me life? Who gave me the ability to work hard? Who allowed my efforts to yield good results? God did! So the next time you become enamored with yourself, remember who should get the glory.

Promises, Promises

We've all made them and we've all broken them. Sometimes, we are accused of making and then breaking promises (usually by our kids who don't always understand the difference between promise vs. possible). Unfortunately we have all been hurt by broken promises and have likely hurt others by breaking promises. That's why I was so encouraged today when reading in Joshua 23:14;

"You know that with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed."

God is faithful! His promises are secure! In a world where keeping your word is less and less common, isn't it reassuring to know that there is someone we can go to that will keep their promises? We don't have to wonder which promises will be kept and when we'll be left hanging. We know without a doubt that He can be trusted. If we know that, shouldn't we trust Him?

Life Lessons from a Sandwich Shop III: Learning From Mistakes

Awhile back I did a post based off of a sign that I saw at a Jimmy John's sandwich shop and since they have so many great signs, I decided to make a series out of it. Today's post is the third post in the series based on the sign above.

The best way to gain experience (really the only way) at something is to do it. Whether it is a job, a hobby or a skill there really is no substitute for "getting your hands dirty". Unfortunately when you are just starting to gain experience in something mistakes are part of the equation. I know, some people are able to pick some things up like they have been doing it forever, but, that is more of an exception than the norm.

For most of my life, I have avoided things if I wasn't reasonably sure that I would do them well. How silly is that? How can I possibly expect to do something well the first time that I do it? As silly as it is, that has frequently been my mindset. There are at least a couple of problems with that mindset: I missed out on a lot of things that I may have really enjoyed, and I missed out on the opportunity to learn from some mistakes.

We all make mistakes! The important thing is whether we learn from our mistakes. How do you handle mistakes? Do you allow them to define you as a failure? Do you allow them to cause you to quit? Or do you use them as an opportunity to grow and to get better? Without mistakes we wouldn't have (or at least not as soon as we did) Post-it Notes, Coca Cola, Tires, the light bulb, penicillin and many more things. Mistakes are important in helping us learn and grow. I don't necessarily recommend intentionally making mistakes or continuing to make the same mistakes, but, I do encourage you to not waste your mistakes, after all, "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

I Don't Like to Read

I have a bit of a problem. I like to learn but I don't really like to read. Now-a-days with all of the technology available to us, this isn't as big of a problem as it used to be. Even though I have tons of access to podcasts, vodcasts, apps, YouTube, etc. there is still something to be said for books. Which brings me back to the problem I started with; I like to learn but I don't really like to read.

That's why I was so excited a few weeks ago to hear about a website called "Study Leadership". This site offers book summaries for leadership books. In other words, they read the book and then give to their subscribers a much shorter (10-20 pages) summary of what the book said. So, instead of spending several hours over the course of several months (my typical book reading results), I can now get the main pieces of a book in only 20-30 minutes. What a great way to solve my problem.

These books aren't for everyone as they are focused on leadership and most are specific to church leadership. However if you are a manager or a leader (mom, dad, boss, coach, etc.) there are many books that I am sure you would find helpful.

If you like to learn but don't have the time to read full books, check out these summaries. And if you go to Crosswater (the church where I am one of the pastors) ask me about how you can get free access to these summaries.