Identity

Most posts I try to talk about something that happened or that I read about and then apply it to scripture somehow as essentially a devotional. Today, however, I am going to do something a little different, I am going to share part of my prayer journal.

"I can't stop thinking about the tongue lashing I received last night about playing time. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning and the first thing on my mind was what was said and how I could have or should have responded. Obviously too much of my identity is wrapped up in coaching. I enjoy having parents tell me how much they appreciate me as a coach or thinking that I do a good job with the kids. Conversely, it bothers me when they don't like how I coach. I never set out to coach in order to gain recognition or accolades, or identity but I fear that maybe that has now become a quiet, hidden objective."

I love to coach, but this morning in my prayer I had to lay it before God and ask Him if I should continue doing it. My desires, even if they are good desires, such as spending time with my kids, pouring into other kids and trying to be a godly example, must fit within God's will for my life. I don't want to quit because one parent was upset about how things were going, but I did need to recognize that some of my identity has been wrapped up in coaching. When our identity is found in anything other that Jesus Christ, it will self destruct. While I love coaching and want to continue doing it, if it is getting in the way of my relationship with Jesus or making Him look bad, I need to give it up. Please pray for me as I seek clarity.

Rule Follower

If you don't know me or don't know me very well, let me give you a little information about me; I am a rule follower. I am not really one to blaze a new trail, to go against authority or blatantly rebel (at least not publicly). Parents, teachers, and governments seem to really like the people they have authority over to be rule followers. Churches like rule followers too and unfortunately that can often get in the way of truly pointing people to Jesus.

I have been personally feeling convicted by this tendency in my life lately. Through our current series in Galatians, my personal time in Romans and a look at a couple of parables that Jesus told, I have seen in myself a tendency to focus on my rule following as an indication of my spiritual health. Now don't get me wrong there is some validity in that as if we are truly following Jesus, we will have good fruit or evidence of that. The problem lies in seeing the rule following as the means of our value or merit instead of the grace of God. Take a look at Luke 18:9-14 for an example of what I am talking about.

I don't like to compare myself to the Pharisees (the religious people of Jesus' time) but the truth is that sometimes my rule following leads me to think of myself as better than others or at least further along. Churches are good at this too. How often have you heard people say that they need to get their life straightened out and then they will go to church. Or, how often have you felt or seen a church give the impression that they have "arrived" and you are welcome to come as long as you have "arrived" too. The truth is that I am just like the tax collector in Luke 18, I am in need of God's grace and mercy. If you see or feel this attitude from me and/or from Crosswater, please let us know. Fact is, we are all sinners saved by grace.