Thursday, March 14, 2013

When Being Right is Wrong

I like to be right.  Let's be honest, so do you.  What may be different about you is how much you defend your rightness.  I have a character flaw that causes me to defend my rightness like a lawyer defending their client (my wife can corroborate my testimony here).  Generally speaking, being right is a good thing, after all, I don't think it would be good for society if we had the majority of people running around being wrong about everything.  However, there is a difference between simply being right about something and making sure that everyone knows you are right about something.  The latter is really a pride issue.  Don't get me wrong, I think there are times when we must stand up and fight for what is right, but in my experience, my defense of rightness is usually not about one of those instances where fighting is warranted.

Case in point...I recently had an encounter with a less than friendly customer service representative for a company that sold my church some books.  In this encounter, I explained the situation and when I didn't get the response that I was looking for and felt that I deserved, I proceeded to defend my stance, my rightness (yes I am aware that rightness is not actually a word) at an increasing level of volume and frustration.  My debate skills and valid arguments did nothing to further my case with this "customer service" person and even though I felt I proved that I was right, I still didn't get what I wanted.

The real whack to my pride came moments later when I sat down to read some scripture.  Everything was fine until I came to Philippians 1:27 which says; "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." (NIV 1984)  After reading this, I immediately thought of my interaction on the phone moments before and then I began to think about other arguments and/or disagreements that I have had recently.  Too often my focus can be on winning the argument, on proving my point, or on making sure that I am heard instead of focusing on the other person's feelings/thoughts/concerns/etc.  Then came the realization that when I do that, I am not conducting myself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Instead, I am conducting myself in a manner worth of myself. 

When my focus is on my rightness, I am giving glory to myself instead of giving glory to God.  While I may be right in some of these circumstances as far as the argument or the details go, I am actually wrong in my spirit and in my heart.  While I certainly won't change overnight, my goal in all areas of my life is to "live in a manner worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ" which means that my focus can't be on being right but instead of giving Jesus glory by interacting with others in a way that represents Him well.