Last week a young man came into our church office and wanted to be prayed for. Although slightly inconvenient, since we were getting ready to close up and head for home, this scenario is at least part of the reason we have an office at all and certainly something within the job description of a pastor. While we knew this young man as someone who would occasionally come to our office for some candy and/or some coffee, we had never known him to want prayer. He was always nice to us in the office but he lived a hard life at least somewhat on the streets involved in drugs and alcohol with questionable acquaintances to say the least. This was not the type of person that we would typically expect to learn spiritual lessons from.
As our lead pastor and I sat to pray for this man, we quickly realized that he didn't want us to pray, he really wanted to do the talking. So he proceeded to talk to God and I began to get a lesson from God on compassion and humility. My heart was wrong from the very beginning as I was worried about what I needed to do next and how soon I would need to be leaving. I saw this situation as an obligation, as a duty of a pastor. When he started to pray, I began to wonder how long this would take and quickly was put off by the language he was using to talk to God. I would never think to talk to God the way this man was. His language wasn't suitable for any environment (even though it is used in most) and I would certainly never talk to God that way.
Then it happened, I was deeply and fully convicted by my arrogance. This man was pouring his heart out to God in a way that I rarely do, he just happened to be using different words. He was having a deep heartfelt conversation, debate even, with the God who made him and loves him more than anyone else ever could. I was struck by the rawness, the openness, the authenticity that you just don't hear in most prayers that aren't in the book of Psalms. I was reminded that God is concerned with our heart not our outward appearance, not the use of proper words and certainly not the attempts to look pure or righteous before Him. God doesn't love me any more than this man because I dress a certain way, speak a certain way, follow certain rules or because I am a pastor. God loves me the same as he loves this man. He sent His Son, Jesus, for this man AND for me.
On that day last week, my heart was shaped to be more like Jesus' and God used a homeless, drug addicted, foul mouthed man to do it. And I know that he can use someone just as "unclean" to reach others, He can use me!
