Do Christians Positively Impact Marriage in America?

I am a numbers guy. Whether it is sports stats, surveys, financial, etc., I like numbers. To show you just how much of a geek I am, I receive regular emails from the Barna Group, a Christian research company, about recent survey findings. Today I received just such an email.

The research that they highlighted in today's email was regarding positive and negative contributions made by Christians in America. While there were many interesting findings, the one that I wanted to focus on today is this; "just 6% (of respondents) mentioned positive contributions by the Christian faith that related to marriage." Now we must keep in mind that survey respondents were asked an open ended question about positive contributions of the Christian faith. I hope that if they had been asked specifically about marriage that more people would have responded favorably.

However, looking at "Christian marriages" in our churches today, is it really much of a surprise that people don't feel that Christianity has had a positive contribution on marriage? After all, Christian marriages have essentially the same divorce rate as non-Christian marriages and Christian marriages seem to be just as susceptible to infidelity. Where are we going wrong?

Well, first of all, marriage is hard. You put two people together that are inherently selfish and you are bound to have some problems. So we just need to work harder, right? Well, yes, I think we do need to work hard, however, that doesn't resolve the issue. This is going to sound cliche from a pastor, but the answer to making marriage work is trusting and following Jesus. Have to love Jesus with all that we have and all that we are and if we do that, we will love our spouse like we are supposed to as well.

For our faith to make a positive contribution to marriage in America, it must first make a difference in our own marriages. If we submit to Jesus, we will be able to have the marriage that Christ wants for us and then we will make a positive contribution to marriage in America.

Is Social Media a Good Thing?

I recently re-entered the world of Facebook after about a 6 month hiatus. I think most all of us use some form of social media whether it's Facebook, My Space, Twitter or some other thing. But are these things good for us? This question has been around for as long as social media has been around and a strong case can be made for both sides of the question.

On one hand, Facebook, Twitter, etc. can be great tools for staying in touch with people that you don't see anymore (friends that have moved, old high school buddies, etc.). On the other hand, I have heard about many marriages that are on the rocks because a spouse used Facebook to get in touch with old flames.

On one hand, you can stay up to date with what your friends and family are up to by seeing their status updates and pictures from the fun thing they did over the weekend. On the other hand, sometimes those status updates are negative comments about you or someone you love and those pictures are of some event that you weren't invited to.

Do all these social media options really keep us connected with each other or are they actually doing the opposite? Just today I read an editorial in the USA Today about this exact question. The writer said, "Welcome to life in 2010. We've never been more connected to people around us. We've never been more disconnected either." Is connecting even the point? If it's not, what is?

I am not here to condemn or promote social media, these are just some questions that I am pondering and thought I would share them with you. What do you think?

What's the Hurry?

One of my favorite shows is the "reality" show, "The Amazing Race". If you are unfamiliar with it, it is a show where two-person teams race around the world completing tasks/challenges while trying to avoid last place in each leg of the race as the last place team usually gets eliminated. The team that can survive all the way to the end and cross the finish line first wins $1 million. In one of the tasks this week, teams were to decode a series of phrases they had been given which had matching symbols and then find and circle those symbols all in a row among a huge wall of matching and non-matching symbols. In other words, a large word search but using symbols/characters instead of English letters. The task wasn't very hard as long as you were able to determine which symbols you were looking for and were methodical in finding the right string of symbols. Only one team was able to complete this task!

Why are we in such a hurry all the time? Everything has to be right now. Remember back when the Internet was first getting started and dial-up was amazing? Now we get upset if our phone doesn't pull up a web page immediately. And who wants to bother with making a phone call on their cell phone anymore when you can just send a text in the amount of time it would take to dial the phone in the first place. Life is moving at light speed these days and we seldom stop long enough to do much of anything other than move on to the next thing.

The teams on the show were doing some silly, even stupid, things because they didn't stop long enough to figure out what they needed to do. What are you missing from being in such a hurry? Time with your spouse or kids, details falling through the cracks, connection with friends and family, connection to God. This week, I encourage you to stop for a little bit, talk to God and even more importantly listen to Him.

Keeping Up

I watched a movie last night about a pretend family that was placed into an affluent neighborhood in order to influence those they come in contact with to purchase various items. This "family" has all the latest and greatest items (given to them by their clients) from cars, clothes, golf clubs, and watches to frozen appetizers, drinks, and more. All of these items are designed to make their new "friends", neighbors and social contacts jealous so they will then go out and buy the items themselves.

On the surface this "family" is happy and has it all and those they are around want to be like them. Reality though, is that they aren't even friends, let alone a real family and none of the products they have are actually theirs. They are leading empty, lonely lives and are manipulating others down that same path of futility.

While this is a movie and obviously not real, I don't think we are that far off from companies doing advertising in this way. In America we already struggle with coveting and with "keeping up with the Joneses" so it is not too much of a leap to think that this could happen as companies try to find new ways to gain customers. What we also have a problem with in America is buying things we can't afford, getting the new "must have" thing and then wanting something bigger or better. In this movie, the family is very successful at influencing those around them and taking advantage of these two struggles I just mentioned. Their next door neighbor buys all of the things that his new "friend" introduces him to despite the fact that he can't afford it. Eventually the facade that this neighbor puts up by buying these things comes crashing down and he ends up killing himself to escape all the pressure.

While I think we all experience some of this in one way or another, some are far deeper into this trap. The only way out of the trap is not to finally have it all (because you can never have it all), it is to realize that no amount of money, stuff, fame, etc. will ever satisfy and know that they only thing that will is JESUS. Don't follow the world, follow the one who made it!

Amazing Story

Last week I challenged all of you who may read this blog to come up with the topics. I must admit, I was somewhat disappointed with the response, however, I did get a suggestion that I will incorporate this week. That suggestion was to point people to valuable/important things that I come across in order to help people wade through the vast amount of content that we have access to. It turns out, that very day I was shown a video of one of the most amazing stories I have ever heard.

Monday night, I came home from a long day at the office as I had stayed all the way through a meeting that night. I hadn't really been feeling well and all I really wanted to do was go to bed. My wife, however, really wanted me to check out this video that she saw on Facebook. I was not very excited to do this as the last video that she wanted me to watch was of a couple doing various beats, claps, clicks, etc. to a song. While this couple did their thing in perfect unison and had obviously spent a lot of time on their routine, I was not looking forward to another such video. But, since I hadn't seen her all day and she really wanted me to watch this new video, I agreed to take a few minutes and watch it.

What followed was an amazing story, unlike any I had ever heard. For the next 16 or so minutes, I was encouraged, convicted, amazed and wowed, by this young woman and by my God. Take a look for yourself here

Taking Requests

I am a fairly opinionated guy, but, lots of times I really have a hard time figuring out what to write about in my blog. Sometimes it's because not much is going on, sometimes I just forget and lots of times I just don't know what would be interesting to others who may be reading the blog. So, in order to get some ideas and to hear what you would like me to talk about, I am presenting you with a challenge; tell me what I should write about. You can send me topics, questions, statements, opinions, or whatever you think will help motivate interesting blog topics. I will do my best to incorporate your ideas and suggestions into future blog posts as well as do my best to answer questions via the blog. Feel free to be creative and to challenge me, just keep it appropriate.

Suggestions can be emailed to me at jonm@crosswaterchurch.org

Right and Wrong

Due to the generosity of a friend, I am fortunate to be able to go to the Husky game on Saturday against Nebraska. Once I get there, if I were to do a poll asking fans who is going to win the game, I am pretty sure that the majority would say the Huskies (true fans through out logic and always believe their team has a chance). But does being in the majority mean that you are right? Of course not (although this time they would be), we can all think of instances where the majority was wrong.

I was reading in Matthew 27 today and it caused me to think about group think, standing up for convictions, etc. In Matthew 27, Pilate finds no basis for any charges against Jesus and is trying to release him by giving the crowd a choice between Jesus or Barabbas, a known criminal and in Pilate's mind surely less deserving of release then Jesus. The crowd surprises him though by demanding that he release Barabbas and to crucify Jesus. Pilate knows that there is no reason to crucify Jesus and even "washes his hands of the matter" trying to absolve himself of any guilt in killing him, but ultimately gives in to their demands and hands Jesus over to be killed. Presumably, the majority of the people in that crowd wanted Jesus killed, but, obviously that doesn't make their desire right. So why did Pilate give in to them?

We see situations like this all the time (not this extreme but the same principles). Every day we are faced with decisions of right or wrong. Unfortunately, much of the time in our society, right and wrong are determined by what "most" people think and not by what is actually right or wrong. Just like Pilate knew that Jesus didn't deserve to die but went along with the majority, we too disregard what we know to be right and go along with the crowd. We see it in the workplace, we see it in schools, we see it in churches and we see it in homes. Sure, there are lots of ways to excuse or justify our behavior, but the bottom line is that too often we are not standing up for what is right.

I have read this passage in Matthew 27 several times (as well as the parallel accounts in the other gospels) and was newly and deeply convicted this time to stand up for what is right. I challenge you to do the same. If you don't know what is right, spend time reading the Bible and let the Holy Spirit work in you to reveal truth to you. If you do know what is right, stand up for it. Speak the truth in love!